


Kagami Taiga Is Not Allowed To Drink

by absolutpiphi



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Humorous Ending, Inappropriate Humor, Multi, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 18:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4401815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/absolutpiphi/pseuds/absolutpiphi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kagami Taiga is a simple minded basketball lover. On the outside that's all he is. He shows 180 degree personality changes at one certain New Year's Party when he gets drunk and passes through 5 stages.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro, Stage 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first story written 2 years ago. I wanted to share it here too.  
> Warnings for underage drinking, foul language, OOCness, stupidity and bullshiting ^^  
> Grammar mistakes in speeches are intentional but others are all mine

There are certain reasons why everyone, who attended last New Year's party, prevents Kagami Taiga from drinking ever again with all their might. After that traumatizing experience at the party, people are still trying to erase the memories from their minds which have most likely burned there forever.

The oblivious Kagami is not happy about the attempts. He realizes others' efforts for keeping him sober but he doesn't understand why. Why are they being bunch of assholes? How is anyone able to survive bearing such noise nuisance with a clear mind through all night? So he demands reasons whenever he comes across with a physical obstacle in the form of a human body, blocking his way to the alcohol stand. But he only gets a stiffed looking friend who pales first, then blushes and then pales several shades again, and starts chuckling nervously while shaking his head implying a universal "no". Of course, Kagami is not satisfied with it and shows it with his scowl on his ever frowning face. But he still can't get any logical answers from them and he is made to leave the issue there.

'If he just knew...' muses the faceless, random friend. Really though, why don't they just tell him everything and retire from this rather tiring mission already? Oh, right. They don't want their dear friend to be embarrassed for the rest of his life. He probably won't believe them anyway, claiming it all lies, accusing them being pricks… Maybe they should let Kagami get drunk and record everything as a proof to show him afterwards. Really, that would shut him up for good!

The friend feels a cold shiver running down his spine thinking of a drunken redheaded basketball junky. No, best to leave everything as it is. It isn't worth it.

Why indeed though? Why does everyone try so hard? Well, the answer is easy. It is scarring for human souls otherwise.

There are 5 stages to drunkenness of Kagami Taiga. Each of them shows a different and mostly unimaginable side of him. Even though the first four stages are amendable, the fifth one is the cause of a definite trauma. Even the shrewd minds cannot bear with such a sight.

* * *

 _TIME : 21:23 / 12.31.20XX_  
_LOCATION : Tokyo/Japan_  
_Residence of Kagami Taiga_

_**Stage 1-The Maji Tenshi** _

After four tequila shots and drinking a beer in one gulp, Kagami Taiga becomes tipsy.

Tipsy Ace's character does not change much at first but his expression gets softer, ever existed frown is erased instantly from his masculine face, making him look more handsome and less intimidating. Slowly but surely, the character changes begin too.

After the facial alteration, his quick temper reduces.

Accidentally spilling sour cherry juiced vodka on Kagami's new expensive beige shirt doesn't wake up his rage. A quick apology from a swaying Furihata, who has reddened cheeks by now, is enough to forgive. But the redhead can't look like a softie, no; he has an image to protect as a wild tiger. He accepts the apology with a curt nod while trying to look annoyed. Probably thinks the natural frown of his does the job for him - not realizing the sloppy smile planted on his face.

Drunk Furihata has enough control over his brain functions to be surprised by a rare view. Because even though the smile is getting looser and looser as the time passes, and making the redhead look goofy, it is still a smile. Noticing the brunette's slightly widened eyes, Kagami thinks he's accomplished the mission of intimidation. Happily continuing to sip his second beer, redheaded Ace leaves an even more shocked Furihata behind while smirking triumphantly. At least, he thinks he _smirks_ but what is seen is a bigger, more sincere and warm smile which melts some poor hearts mercilessly.

To refill his drink and stuff himself with more of the delicious lemon flavored cheesecake, the glutton orients his legs towards his kitchen.

...

"It's moving, Aominecchi! You sure about this?" Kise looks as if he might throw up any moment.

The moving _thing_ is a sick brown colored substance on a plate which Aomine is holding with one hand. On his other hand he has a spoon. He dares to take a bite.

"O-of course! This isn't enough to chicken me out!" Aomine answers immediately while looking like the opposite of what he says.

"So this is how the Ace of Miracles is. So brave." With a voice dripping with sarcasm, Miyaji from Shuutoku retorts. "You can back down from it if you want since now I know how tough you are. I promise I won't make fun of you afterwards." The smirk on the blond's face gives him away that he plans to do exactly that.

Kagami watches the ordeal from the entrance of the kitchen. He hears the conversation before entering; realizing Miyaji of all people is there too, his interest peaks. So he decides to watch what will happen quietly without making the other three realize his existence in the room.

'Ahomine shouldn't get worked up this easily.' Being one to talk, Kagami feels sick just thinking to take a bite from that thing. 'It really is _moving_ too.' Disgusted, but also wondering if Aomine really has the guts, the redhead continues to watch amusedly.

"I said I'll do it, so I'll do it damn it!" Angry, slightly terrified and definitely appalled Aomine barks at Miyaji.

"Aomine-kun should not be worked up easily." Kuroko deadpans.

Kagami, scared out of his mind but still managing not to make a sound, is shocked to see Kuroko standing next to Kise. Even the Shadow seems like he isn't picking out the redhead's presence. But Kagami is more surprised to hear the same thing he is thinking from his teammate. 'I guess we really are compatible,' the Light gets smitten.

Strangely not throwing a retort to Kuroko, Aomine slowly proceeds to dive the spoon in the substance. As if mocking, the _thing_ on the plate starts moving faster, shaking on its own. Aomine gulps and dives the spoon suddenly as if he is afraid to lose his courage by taking his sweet time.

The five participants of the room gain an unasked bond that will connect them to each other forever at that fateful night. While making an unspoken vow not to utter a single word about what takes place in Kagami's kitchen, it takes a long while for them to process what the _hell_ is actually happening.

Right at the moment spoon makes contact with the substance, the _thing_ explodes.

"…Did ...Did that just _blow up_? On your faces?" Being the first one to find his voice is still not helping Miyaji to comprehend what beholds, so he loses his voice again after asking one final question, "How is that even possible…?"

"I… do not know, Miyaji-san." Kuroko takes upon himself to give an answer. With slightly wider eyes and a small gape between his lips, the shadow simply looks perplexed. Also, he doesn't notice he has _that brown stuff_ a little under his right eye.

As his brain comes back to his skull again wherever high places it went to, Kagami detects _the_ _thing_ on Kuroko's face and is quite grossed out by it.

Though nothing can compare with what Aomine and Kise are going through. Not only most of their faces are covered with _the brown substance,_ their cloths also have it on many areas. Both of them look as if their souls are exorcized from their bodies. The two miracles are still not moving; they keep looking at the plate and Aomine's spoon holding hand as their expressions deserve to be immortalized with a lot of photographs. While Kise seems he really threw up in his mouth a little this time, his chin almost touches the floor; Aomine's eyes are the size of a saucer, mouth gaping a planet, he cannot stop himself from looking at the point where spoon and plate are making a contact. Still out of his mind, the indigo miracle doesn't seem to function for a while.

Silence ensues Kuroko's words for a couple of minutes. Finally, Aomine's soul returns to his body but loses a part of it permanently in the process; he screams a manly scream.

"ARGH! An alien baby committed suicide on me!" But he is still in shock; his brain concludes a very convincing conclusion.

Thanks to ganguro's manly scream, Kise releases a girly scream.

"Kyaaaaa! Some of the alien baby got into my mouth! _And I accidentally swallowed it!_ " He hurries to drink an already filled water from a glass that is on the counter. Gulping it in one go, Kise becomes uncharacteristically quiet afterwards.

The other four are too busy with paling and being appalled by his declaration while thanking to the Gods they aren't in Kise's shoes right now that they don't realize the blond's character change.

"Hey Tetsu… They won't come after their baby right? Aliens…" As he is terrified with the sudden realization, Aomine seeks comfort in his ex-shadow's logical brain.

"Aomine-kun, I can assure you that was not an alien baby." Kuroko returns to being his usual self rather quickly.

"Then what the hell was that!?" Miyaji questions Kuroko angrily due to shock as he finally finds his voice for the second time.

"I am not sure but I believe Aomine-kun and Kise-kun got it from the pot. It should be one of the dishes we ate earlier." Using his analytical mind, the Shadow continues to create wonders with his observation skills as always.

They all pale though, thinking they actually ate _it_ a few hours back.

"But it tasted so good then and its color wasn't brown too. How did Kagami's delicious food become a creator from outer space?" The tanned miracle is still horrified with the thought. Not bothering to correct Aomine again (more surprised that the ganguro has a word like 'outer space' in his vocabulary), Kuroko proceeds to inspect the pot.

By Aomine's last question Kagami finally realizes a very crucial detail. He saw his coach entered the kitchen a while back and returned with nothing in her hands. He also remembers how his captain and teammates were complimenting him about the amazing dinner and how they could still eat some even though they all stuffed to the full. 'So coach wanted to cook for them…?' But thinking about Kuroko's statement about that _thing_ being the food from their dinner, maybe the coach wanted to reheat it? 'And really, with her magical final touch, it's possible,' Kagami answers inwardly Miyaji's previous question.

At one of their cooking sessions Kagami witnessed how much of an incredible cook his coach is. As they were preparing one of the basic dishes, the pot his coach using exploded much like just now. The redheaded Ace had the scare of his life time then, nothing can compare to it. Well maybe this incident _can_ , but that's beside the point. When the pot blasted, coach looked strangely self-satisfied with a triumphant smile on her face. Apparently, that was how Aida Riko figured out the food was ready. She was surprised that no, this wasn't Kagami's way of knowing; she explained that this always happened when she cooked, especially after adding her secret ingredient. Yes, the not-so-secret ingredient was sportsman's food supplement. It apparently causes dishes to burst.

Getting that his coach is the culprit Kagami is amused beyond belief. Really, that woman's abilities are not limited with being an excellent basketball coach. He decides to finally reveal his presence to the occupants; he gets ready to explain what he knows, but something interrupts him. No, more like some noise.

Kise starts wailing. _Very_ loudly. More high pitched cries than usual, he weeps his eyes out all of a sudden. After they overcome their startled states due to the blond's unexpected reaction, the quadruple worries for his sanity.

"O-oi Kise, don't just start crying like that. What's wrong?" Aomine concerns for the copy cat's mental condition, and Miyaji, too, rushes to two miracles' side. Kagami is surprised, standing still; Kuroko just stares.

Kise's wailing becomes louder and louder. Now Aomine is sure it's because of what he accidentally ate moments ago. So the tanned ace drops the plate and spoon he's been holding all this time, and causes the plate to be crushed to many pieces as he doesn't give a shit.

"Kise! Fight with it! Don't let the alien baby capture your body! You can do it man, come on!" Aomine is certain that the blond miracle is possessed by the explosive creator. He begins to shake Kise's shoulders vigorously which only makes the model's cries be weirder. So high pitched and strange that being the nearest ones to the blond, Miyaji and Aomine have to clutch their ears. After a while Miyaji speaks.

"You don't think he is signaling to the mothership… Right?"

" _Oh fuck NO!_ Kise! I said fight with it damn it! Don't attract the fully matured aliens! Stop that!" Aomine is petrified. He tries to find a way to shut his friend up. 'I guess the only choice is force him to sleep; he can't allure them if he is unconscious.' And he figures the only way for managing that is to punch him to sleep. He is just about to do that when another strange voice erupts.

Kagami is laughing his ass off. He is too busy fighting a losing war with an evil cramp that he misses the hell of a jump scare he gives to other participants - freezes Aomine and Miyaji, silences Kise effectively, and perplexes Kuroko for the second time. Kagami's laugh eases to more controlled chuckles. The other four are sort of lost in the melodic sound as they just stare at the tipsy redhead as if he's lost his mind.

Aomine is ready to conclude that Kagami must be possessed too, so he proceeds to shut him up first even though the noise redheaded player is making sounds really nice. But he has to do it; there are aliens coming after them for revenge, for fuck's sake! Though Kuroko beats him to it by asking.

"Since when have you been here, Kagami-kun?"

"I was here when Aomine tried to eat an alien baby-" Kagami's chuckles are out of control again.

Miyaji is now sure that Seirin's Ace definitely lost his mind. Kuroko understands Kagami's urge. Aomine, then, becomes more suspicious than the possession theory that the redhead is just being a prick about the serious situation.

"Shut up Bakagami! If you are not gonna be helpful then take your laid back ass to somewhere else dumbass!"

"Who are you calling idiot, you Ahomine?! You guys are the stupid ones here!" Kagami riles up.

"Oi, oi. Are you saying I'm stupid too, you shitty junior? Your seniors are going easy on you." A vein visibly pops out on Miyaji's forehead.

"N-no! I-I mean there might be other things than aliens. Sir!" The redhead nervously gulps. The blond Shuutoku player awfully reminds him his captain.

"Kagami-kun knows what is going on," Kuroko states.

"Yeah. Kuroko, it's the coach." Kagami looks pointedly at his shadow and Kuroko comprehends immediately.

"Ah. Then it is possible." Kuroko and Kagami both nod together in sync.

Others don't understand it yet.

"So? What is it?" Again, a question comes from Miyaji. At the moment Kise quietly sniffs and sobs.

"Our coach's cooking is famous… with being startlingly inedible. If the ingredients and temperature are correct, I believe she can create a living life form with her skills," Kuroko explains.

"Huh? Are you serious Tetsu? That's… kinda amazing and scary. She can do something like that?" Aomine joins back into the conversation as he eyes the proof of Kuroko's words: the pot.

"Yeah she can do meals like that. I saw her coming here a while back. That's the only explanation I got - she must be reheating the food." Kagami takes his turn to explain further.

"But that explains nothing at all! You said when she _cooks._ How come reheating ended up the same then? And what the hell can even cause an _explosion_ dammit!?" Miyaji is good at asking questions.

"Sportsman's food supplements."

"Sportsman's food supplements."

Kagami and Kuroko answer at the same time.

"Why would anyone-?!" Bewilderment is dancing on Aomine's face as he can't find enough words to finish his question.

"To make a more balanced meal. We often tell her to stop but…" Kagami says with a hint of a painful expression.

"I just can't believe someone could be worse than Satsuki at cooking. No, scratch that. This is _the worst_ of all."

Miyaji suddenly smacks Aomine in the head, hard. "And I can't believe I was being such a fool. It's all your fault stupid junior! I should use Kimura's pineapples on you." He smacks ganguro again. Now there are multiple popped veins.

"Ouch! Hey how is this my fault!? You are the one who said Kise is signaling to the mothership!"

" _You bastard…_ " Looks like Miyaji is going to lose his control; Kagami interrupts to prevent the indigo miracle's early death. There are many more one-on-ones he is going to win against the miracle after all.

"So what's wrong with Kise?" As if on a cue, Kise starts wailing loudly again. Kagami worries about the blond and skips to his side immediately.

"I think I know. I believe what Kise-kun drank wasn't water but sake. He told me once he apparently cries a lot when he drinks sake until its effect reduces a little. His sisters made an experiment on him once, that's how he knows it." Kuroko enlightens the situation.

"Oh… So what should we do about it? Are we gonna let him cry like this?" Aomine wonders.

Kagami puts his hand on Kise's shoulder to calm him down a little. But with the contact Kise throws his arms around the redhead's neck, wraps him almost chokingly and buries his face in Kagami's shoulder as he continues sobbing loudly and painfully. Not knowing what to do with the sudden attack from the model, Kagami stands frozen for a while. Then he wraps his left arm around Kise's middle section as his right hand caresses the blond hair. He tries to soothe the blond miracle's sobs while murmuring calming nothings to him.

Kagami is actually panicking. He is not good with crying people; he doesn't know what to do. He humiliates himself every time he attempts to calm another person. He is sure he does that right now too. So when Kise's weeping lessens noticeably and turns into quiet sniffs, he feels accomplished. Smiling triumphantly, he pushes away the blond a bit to look at his face. A sincere and warm smile blooms on his face as he asks if Kise feels better now with a smooth voice.

Kise wasn't ready for such enigmatic Kagami and he is at the directly receiving end of the enchanting sight to boot. His sniffs and sobs stop completely. Now he is blushing madly and his heart beat quickens at the angelic view of the redhead, his mouth's gaping slightly.

The other three are watching the scene beholding in front of them. They were unprepared for sweet and nice Kagami either. Their hearts' beats quicken as well. All four of them are in a trance, gazing at Kagami's nice smile, and listening to his sweet chuckles.

Kagami, being the oblivious one he is, waits for an answer from Kise but he can't get one out. Not aware of his irresistibility, he just doesn't realize he makes the four participants fall for him a little.

 


	2. Stage 2, 3, 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional warnings for cheesy pick-up lines and Akashi Seijurou's existence.  
> The song, Somebody Told Me, is by The Killers.

_**Stage 2-Gabby** _

After 3 more beers and some more tequila and vodka shots, Kagami Taiga loses his control over his mouth.

Him, talking more than couple of sentences on a topic other than basketball _is_ already quite a surprise in itself, so his friends get amused over this development.

It doesn't take long for them to go homicidal.

…

Kagami Taiga strolls around his flat, looking for victims he can rant to; he comes across with very familiar faces.

Kuroko and Izuki are sitting at a relatively less loud corner and talking in such a civilized manner that the redhead can't help but want to join in to the peaceful atmosphere. So the huge teenager with a dual tone of red hair bounces toward the probably the most invisible pair, with a wide goofy grin.

Instantly finding their beloved 6th man, the miracles and their respective partners surround the two with the redheaded ace.

Kuroko wishes to slaughter Kagami-kun right then and there, and be able to get away with it without attracting his coach's and captain's rage on himself.

…

"Ya know, this one day I was playin' basket at this court… But the place had this like green…stuff coming out of it-" Kagami is on ranting.

"Do you mean grass, Kagami-kun?"

"Yeah yeah that. _Grass_. Like I said, court had grass coming out of its floor... But you gotta see the ground. I mean, it was like someone… crunched it. Y'know like the ad, remember-"

"Oh, do you mean the ground was cracked, Kagamicchi?"

"Yeah ground was cracked. Stop interrupting me, damn it! Listen, a _cracked ground_ and _grass_ growing out of-" this time Kagami stops on his own, freezes up for 10 seconds then starts giggling uncontrollably.

" _Grass_!" A sudden yell from the redhead makes people who are near to him jump a little. Seeing the identical confusion on his friends' faces, Kagami yells again.

"Grass! Ahahaha! _Grass._ Grass grass grass grass! …so funny… hahhaha~…m-my stomach!"

Apparently, grass is a funny word for a clouded mind of Kagami. After causing several comical sweat drops on colorful heads, Kagami continues with his speech.

"A-anyway… I was playin' basket at a place like that and I was jumping for a dunk-"

"Figures…" The redhead shots a glare at the general direction of the voice came from; only to make people at the end of it blush because the 'maji tenshi' effect is still active but weaker than before.

"S-Shut up! I was gonna dunk and jumped for it but because of the _grass-_ pfft! …I-I couldn't give enough power to my legs! And the cracked ground made me stumble a little-" At this part, Aida Riko's attention is completely directed to the redhead even though she is almost at the opposite side of the crowded room.

"-so I lost my balance and fell on my butt! My butt! Like, _a baby falls on his butt_!"

_'A giant beast giggling like 12 year old girl is_ not _a pretty sight,_ ' is the mutual opinion of said beast's forced audience. The gabby slowly but surely destroys the maji tenshi.

Between his barks of laughter, a self-satisfied Kagami tries to speak again "-but ya know, I'm lucky that I didn't get injured. 'Cause if I hurt my legs, I'm dead! Dead! Especially because I was playin' the day coach speciff- specaif-"

"Specifically." Someone helps.

"Yeeaah, specifa- yeah that. Coach speciff- **specifically** warned me not to play that day. But hey! Shhhhhhh!" Continuing with a loud whisper, he says,  "She can't know okay? Don't-don't tell her or she will… she will… eat my heart out! _Raw!"_   With a terrified expression, the redhead stops talking and looks as if he is thinking.

"…She thinks I was studying to my Kanji that day."

Kagami is too busy with sniggering mischievously, thinking he must be so smart to be able to deceive devil-incarnation, all the while missing the pale faces of his teammates.

" _Ba-ka-ga-mi!_ " Comes the voice from hell right behind the mentioned idiot.

A killing intent sends shivers down from his spine as Kagami slowly turns his head to see a possessed Riko. Begging for his life does not help the poor Ace of Seirin. He gets the smacks of his short life with a promise of more to come at the practice. His teammates pity him from the bottom of their hearts, knowing there is no excuse for being a fool.

Reviving after a short while, Kagami continues with his speeches as if he wasn't on the verge of being completely gone just moments ago. Well, idiots always do survive.

Though at this point, everyone is just trying to tune him out. They are almost succeeding it but a heated discussing about unicorns and ponies between Kagami and Midorima begins to erupt slowly.

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course unicorns do not exist, you fool. They are mythological creators from ancient history." Spats the green miracle, taking the drunken idiot seriously because he is Midorima.

"Wah-?" The redhead's brain can't handle the greenette's complicated words at the moment. But he gets the gist of it.

"Hell yeah unicorns are real! What do you call horses with horns then!?" He is shocked to find someone who doesn't believe in the most mystical, most beautiful creators on Earth.

"They don't exist either, moron!" The bespectacled miracle snorts.

"Actually Shin-chan, horses with horns _do_ exist." Hawk-eyed player decides to join in the debate, much to everyone's chagrin and bewilderment of Midorima. "There is a certain horned breed. It is called Moyle horse, if I remember it correctly. Very rare…You know what, it's in fact pretty funny how they are discovered. When people first saw them, they really did think they were actual unicorns-"

"How the hell do you know this much about damn horses, Takao!?" Now a storming green mess goes off.

"Ah, haha. I find horses very interesting Shin-chan! And my sister adores ponies! You must know this already…! I always talk about them you know~?" Whines Takao a bit but still happily.

Now Midorima is flushed because it's obvious he doesn't listen to his partner's one-sided chats. Not that he cares if this revelation hurts the point guard's feelings or anything. But it seems like his Takao is not going to realize anything for a while. Probably the alcohol in his system is getting to his brain. Not that bespectacled shooter is relieved. Because Midorima Shintarou does not care.

And he didn't call him _'his'_ in his own inner turmoil, damn it!

"Hah! See! I **told** you unicorns are real!" Declares Kagami triumphantly, finally overcoming his dumbfounded state due to Takao's unintentional help.

"They are not real!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are-!" Both freshmen double over in pain. Finally, their respective captains have enough of this shitty argument and decide it is time to stop it, with a jab to the ribs.

This time, no one feels pity.

…

With the help of red wine, martini and vodka shots, the thin line between Kagami Taiga's brain and mouth is completely severed.

"Hey whe' is my shadoow?" The redhead is quite wasted by now, so much that he can't even register if he is asking it to someone or just wonders out loud.

"Shadow~! Your Light lookin for ya~! Com-*hic* out come out~!" He tries to sing song while yelling, not a good combination for baritone voices. And he thinks his voice is not loud enough since he doesn't get any response from his shadow.

"I WANT MY SHAD- Argh!" Kagami feels a sudden pain in his stomach.

"I'm right here, Kagami-kun. Please stop shouting." An annoyed Kuroko appears right beside the redhead. A convict right hand takes its place beside its master's side. Although there aren't any traces of annoyance on his baby face, it is obvious that Kuroko is grumpy and not pleased with a certain light. And maybe it is because he is a bit tipsy himself.

The abrupt appearance of his shadow scares the redhead a little but his reaction rate seems much slower than usual and less effective thanks to the alcohol he's consumed, much to Kuroko's further annoyance. A wide loose grin spreads across the light's face eventually and he drapes his left arm over the shorter male's shoulders.

"Kuroko~ do you remembe' what yo-*hic* …said to me when we fi'st met?" Apparently Kagami doesn't know how to speak in a normal volume when he is like this. And since the music has to turn down noticeably quiet due to the time, everyone can hear the deep baritone voice clearly. The redhead's question attracts many attentions, especially rainbow heads'.

"Of course I remember. What about it, Kagami-kun?"

"Ya know~ I was reeaally freaked out at fi'st when y-*hic* …you said you will be my shadow from now oonnn..? I was like woaahhh… 'Cause ya know. 'Cause it sounds like you are a stalker or somethin'-" A nausea makes the redhead pause for a while.

"…and then you said "Generation of Mi'acles"-" making imaginary quotation marks with his fingers, redheaded idiot continues, "I was like 'Whooo…? _Laaame!_ '" emphasizing and yelling the last word with a 'duuuut you failed' voice, the redhead annoys everyone with his American high schooler antics. "Ahahaha~ I mean "Generation o' Miracles"? Like, couldn't they find a _lamer_ naaame? Riiight? Hahhahahha-*hic*"

6 pairs of varied colored eyes shoot deathly glares at the dunk monkey, daring him to continue while promising painful memories. But being the oblivious himself, Bakagami continues when he can take a break from his chuckling.

"…and then like, I thought _t_ _his_ guy is gonna help _me_ to beat these " _suuuupeer strong_ " guys? But he is sssooooo-*hic* weak! Whasss he gonna do, stare the shit outta them?" Now even the miracles halt at being mad and just pity the idiot because his life just shortens to a couple of seconds. The poker face of his shadow starts to crumble slowly and anyone can see the death surrounding the shorter male. Well anyone except Kagami who calmly sips his unknown but surely combustive cocktail.

"Mm- but you know what, Shadow? I was ssooo wrong! Never been more wronge' in! my! life! I mean your awesome ya know that? I was like… awessst'uck when I fi'st saw you play…Amazing!" the Light looks at his shadow and nods in affirmation.

All Kuroko can do now is just stare with slightly wide eyes and pinkish cheeks. He cannot help but feel touched a little. All madness is forgotten. Other participants of the party release the breath they have been holding. Relieved that they don't have to be accomplices of a bloody murder. But the redheaded idiot crushes their new found hope completely with his next words.

"Ohhh and Shadoow, ya knaw wat? Ya should work out more! Your so scrawny I'm shocked-*hic* that you haven't break you're wrist or ankle… or somethin'. Eat lots and stop drinking vanilla milkshakes! It tastes-*hic* awful already! And anyway it's not like-... it helps you get any taller-"

Kagami Taiga : KO

* * *

_**Stage 3-Shameless  
** _

At this stage, no one is sure about what happens. They don't know if the redheaded idiot regains some control over his mouth and on his mind because his words and grammar seem to be improved, or just temporarily loses his mind. But they are definite about one thing.

A 3rd staged Kagami Taiga is not Kagami Taiga.

They have a sneaky suspicion that is all because of Absolut Vodka.

…

Seirin's Ace revives after an hour or so, but still pretty much wasted; a courtesy of Absolut Vodka he's been drinking earlier. He looks different though. There is a strange glint in his eyes. No one notices at first because they've stopped paying any attention to him. But a couple of incidents lead them to realize something is wrong with the beast.

" _Woah!_ Kagamicchi?! Did you just smack my butt!?"

The redheaded player throws his arm over the blond beauty's shoulders and inhales the smell of his hair deeply. Kise freaks out but the shock makes his body freeze on where he stands. Kagami's lips close on his right ear and with a husky tone, he hits on.

"…Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

Honey brown eyes are the size of a saucer.

It isn't like Kise Ryouta isn't used to advances. He can resist to any men and women if he puts his mind to it. But he has to admit he hasn't heard such a cheesy line for a long time.

After not receiving a response from the man he is heavily coming on to, the player tries another approach.

"Hey, I've got skittles in my mouth. Wanna taste the rainbow?"

" _Oh my God, Kagamicchi!_ Where did you even learn lines like that!? _And please don't lick my ear!"_ Kaijou's Ace finally finds enough strength to push away his 'friend' at his last assault.

Kagami stares with unfocused eyes at the general direction of the blond's face for a few seconds. Then he turns on his heels and leaves a dumbfounded small forward behind without uttering another word.

Kagami Taiga is on hunting.

Deciding on a new prey quickly (he is not picky at the moment and really, _nice ass_ ), he slyly approaches his victim, doesn't give a crap about if the person is in the middle of a heated speech, the player firmly gropes and gives a nice squeeze to left cheek of the sexy arse, humming in appreciation.

"Hey do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can totally see myself in your pants."

Aomine Daiki literally jumps out of his skin.

"What da fu-!? _Kagami!?_ "

"Call me _Tiger_. Roarr…"

"Tig- _What!?_ L-Let go damn it! Stop making circles on my butt!"A slightly out of breath tanned power forward tries to stop the tiger's advances. He thanks to every God he knows that the room and his skin color are dark.

Ever so observant Kuroko Tetsuya, of course, notices the strange color of his friend's face.

"Aomine-kun, you are blushing."

"Wah-? I'm not blushing Tetsu! … _I told you to let go, bastard! Not hold the both cheeks!"_

"Your dad must be a baker 'cause you have a nice set of _buns_."

"…! Do you even recognize which gender you're coming on to!?" Shoving the redhead on the face is not enough to stop the player in Kagami.

"Baby I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock."

…

The tiger continues his hunt while nursing a swollen cheek.

He is unconsciously making the jazz walk from a certain superhero movie, creeping out everyone in the process.

The tiger sees livid green and slowly walks towards it in a trance like situation similar to a zombie watching the fireworks. Soon after he realizes that green stuff is actually hair growing on a head. Belongs to someone very tall and muscular, presenting a delicious sight from behind for the redheaded player.

"It's a good thing I have my library card because 'm totally checking you out." Comes a husky voice from behind a baffled Midorima.

Turning back, the greenette is more shocked to see a very close face of Kagami Taiga with a strange glint in his crimson eyes.

The horoscope believer quickly recovers from his stupor and starts questioning at once though.

"I didn't know you had a library card, Kagami. Do they give them to everyone in your school? Or are you actually using it? What kind of books do you read anyway? Of course, I'm assuming you actually know how to read, but I might be expecting too much."

If Midorima hopes for an answer, he doesn't get one. Tiger looks at the greenette with a blank face. Then turns to green-head's left, directing his advances to the shorter male who was obviously having a conversation with the shooting guard before Kagami interrupted.

Putting his big hand on the shorter male's head, fierce crimson eyes bore into cold heterochromatic eyes. The whole room grows silent.

Fascinated with the enchanting different eye colors, the tiger wraps his arm across Akashi's shoulder. No one remembers how to breathe anymore.

"You have very pretty eyes. Ah, but I think you have something in it… Nope~ just a sparkle~."

Luckily, Kagami's freshmen trio teammates have merciful hearts. They save the redheaded idiot from the wrath of an emperor even though they are scared shitless. The trio grabs the tiger and bolts while dragging the beast and dodging flying scissors.

Everyone breathes again. They are relieved that a messy murder, once again, isn't taking a place at that night.

Kagami Taiga falls asleep on the couch he is thrown to. Only to wake up shortly after, much to everyone's horror.

* * *

_**Stage 4-Emotional Wreck** _

It is unknown how much alcohol is consumed by the redhead by now. At least, he stops the bold flirting and party participants are content with it.

But it is not over yet.

No one realizes that Kagami is awake and not on his crushing spot anymore until a loud music erupts and even more louder voice starts to sing, making everyone jump on their feet. Well, it is actually hard to call it singing because all the redhead is doing is shouting the lyrics with his lungs out.

"… **SOMEBODY TOLD ME! YOU HAD hompf-FRIEND! WHO LOOKED LIKE GIRLFRIEND! THAT I HAD IN FEB-hmhuh-ARY OF LAST YEAR-!** " Kagami starts humming loudly but still lower than his singing voice until his favorite part comes again.

"…He has no idea what the lyrics are, doesn't he." States the captain Hyuuga. Everyone sweat drops while nodding.

Apparently, the redheaded idiot knows only four sentences from the song, even those lines aren't completely correct. God knows why he chose this song to yell at.

At least, he seems like he is getting those lines better now.

" **...huhmyn my mhmoonlight…WELL SOMEBODY TOLD ME! YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND! WHO LOOKED LIKE A GIRLFRIEND THAT I HAD IN—** " suddenly, Kagami starts sobbing while covering his eyes with his hand. He just stands there and cries into his palm.

Finally, someone regains their composure again and turns off the loud music. They are lucky if no one calls the police, it is very late.

Himuro Tatsuya officially panics. He has never seen his brother cry before. Not even when they had that painful parting match. He doesn't know what to do or how to react to such an enigma.

With a gentle smile, brave Kiyoshi Teppei dares to approach to the sobbing giant. Putting his huge palm on a shoulder, he wants to know what is wrong with Kagami. Others just watch the scene with a broken heart.

"Ki-Kiyoshi-senpaiiii!" two-toned head wraps his arms around his senpai's neck, wetting the friendly center's t-shirt with his tears and snot. Slightly disgusted Kiyoshi questions again while patting his kouhai's head.

"It-it's the song! *hic-hic* It is so sad! Dude's- *hic* Dude's ex-girl looks like a… _a dude!_ _I had no idea!_ " The redheaded idiot's sobs become uncontrollable. He is not aware of that he has just lost everyone's sympathy; even friendly giant hesitates with his ministration of easing the crying mess in his arms. But being the ever sweetheart he is, Kiyoshi continues to try soothing the crying beast.

"Huh… You know, I always thought it was the boyfriend looking like a girl. But I guess it can go this way too." Izuki comments and Takao nods in agreement.

"Izuki. Shut up!" Hyuuga retorts immediately as usual.

An angered Riko gets ready to walk towards to her ace, probably to smack him some more, but the redhead perplexes everyone by suddenly shouting.

"Tatsuyaaa! Where are you?! TATSU-!" An urgent need to sniff interrupts his bellowing. It gives time to Himuro to react.

"I-I'm here, Taiga. I'm here. Big brother's here. Come on, calm down." Himuro pulls his little brother into his arms with a gentle voice. Still not losing the concern for him, even though it is only drunken bullshit coming out of the idiot's mouth.

"Tatsuya! Why-!? Why you don't wanna be my brother anymore? Why did you s-say *sniff* …those things to me back there…?" Sincere tears trail down Kagami's cheeks to his chin and drop on his brother's ring hanging around on his neck.

Oh, bummer. Now everyone feels like shit, especially Himuro. He can't stand to see his Taiga's teary eyes and hearing his hurtful voice. His poor heart won't be able to bear this much breaking.

"Taiga… I don't know what to s-" starts the white dragon but Kagami suddenly grabs his shoulders firmly and asks with a pitched voice due to all the crying he has done.

"Is it because of my eyebrows!? Is it!? They-they are weird aren't they? I-I couldn't have any- *sniff* -friends because of them when I first moved to the States... N-now they are making you run away from them! I-I-I-I-" Kagami bends his head enough to cover his eyes with his bangs. He doesn't seem to hear the snickers breaking out. Then a pair of scissors suddenly appears in his hand out of the blue and a determined glint in his crimson eyes like he is ready to go one-on-one.

"I'm gonna cut them." And he proceeds to do just that.

A fierce battle between the tiger and the dragon erupts.

The dragon tries to take the scissors away while coaxing the tiger into convincing that the eyebrows are not the issue between them. The redhead seems like he is only focusing on the mission he gave himself. Himuro's words and now-full-blown laughs are not processing in his brain.

Finally, Japanese beauty snaps. He shouts everyone to shut the hell up and help him already or Taiga is going to hurt himself. This gets attention of a few teammates. Mitobe and Kiyoshi see the losing battle on the dragon's side and decide to assist.

Now it's three-on-one. The tiger is more fiercer than ever. He is determined to win against three strong defense players.

Aomine, who is laughing his ass off over 'The Great Scissor Battle', can't do much but clutch his middle due to cramps. When it seems like he is calming down, he takes a look at the scene before him to prevent just that and laughs some more. He glances at the crazed tiger's face and freezes at what he sees.

Then he doubles over, having hysterical fits. While punching the floor and freaking out the people who are near to him at the same time, he barks with a cracked voice.

"IDIOT IS IN THE ZONE! BWAHAHAHAHA!"

This causes others' laughs come to a halt. They finally take a good look at the scene before them and holy shit, there is that strange smoke coming out of Kagami's eyes. This revelation doesn't have the same effect on the others like on the tanned idiot. The seriousness of the situation is escalated because they know a Zoned Kagami is unstoppable if the others are not in the Zone too. The only ones who got into it before are Aomine and Murasakibara. But the ganguro is having fits, tries to breathe between painful cramps and the purple giant is knocked out by his snacks at somewhere, even the loud performance from the redhead couldn't wake him up.

They might outnumber the power forward. If this was the actual basketball match, it wouldn't work because it's impossible to stop a Zoned player. But the said redhead is much more smashed than anyone else in the room right now, so they may have a chance.

Now adding Hyuuga, Kuroko, Kise and Tsuchida to the earlier trio, there is a pretty strong barrier between the scissors in the tiger's hand and the tiger himself. Eventually Kise manages to snatch the accused object away from the deathly grip and backs away couple of feet from the red beast. Other six human obstacles take a step back, assuming now the tiger is calmed down a little, though not getting too far away from him, but still making a big mistake.

Realizing now he is free from his hindrances, the tiger attacks Kise's scissor holding hand at top speed thanks to the Zone. Noticing he can't be faster than the beast, the blond throws the scissors without looking, out of pure basketball reflexes in his surprised and drunken state.

Kagami, never taking his eyes off of the object, not even for a blink, quickly changes his course at the direction of the scissors. His fingers are millimeters away from it when it disappears. Kuroko, now in the power forward's line of sight, uses his misdirection to sneak up on Kagami and passes the object to a reluctant green-headed shooter.

At this point, all the basketball junkies are just watching the battle beholding in front of their eyes with identical amazed expressions. To their wasted minds, it looks like the most anticipated match of the year. Mouths are gaping, eyes are wide, waiting what is going to happen next.

With a weary sigh, the green miracle receives the pass gracefully and shoots the scissors like his never missing three pointers, aiming an open window. Of course, his accuracy is perfect. He is Midorima-fucking-Shintarou. It is impossible for him to miss as long as he follows the fate and has his lucky item with him. Today's lucky item is a tea pot, for the ones wondering.

Midorima Shintarou continues what he was doing before the shoot, so confident it will be a success and not giving a second glance; he is changing his bandages because stupid Takao spilt some champagne on his left hand earlier. Then the greenette hears a loud crash, like some glasses are broken, and looks back.

Apparently, the high arch of the shoot is too high for an apartment complex. The scissors takes out an innocent lamp in its travel to the window. Due to the impact, the object lends on the floor, away from the window. Everyone stays quiet for a while.

Now Takao Kazunari is having a hysterical fit along with Aomine Daiki. Midorima is blushing furiously, shouting them to shut up.

Kagami Taiga, with the deviousness of an actual tiger, doesn't miss his chance. While taking everyone by surprise for the second time, he dashes towards the object.

Fortunately, Furihata Kouki is there to save the day. He grabs the scissors quickly and throws it out from the open window, earning many praises, congratulation slaps, a recognizing hum from a certain heterochromatic eyed sociopath, and a tiger's despair.

Since his mission has failed, Kagami pouts while sitting on the floor, stretching his legs like a kid.

"Taiga."

Looking up and seeing his real object of despair at the moment, the kitten's bottom lip starts quivering.

Himuro gasps and hurriedly kneels down beside his little brother and hugs Kagami's head to his chest. Himuro's heart stops at the lack of response he is getting. He breathes again when he feels the strong long arms wrapping themselves around his middle section.

Kagami buries his face in his brother's chest and Himuro does the same to Kagami's two toned hair. They start to speak after a few moments of silently hugging each other, though still in the same position.

The brothers are talking in English, so none of the guests understands what they are saying but they understand enough to leave them alone.

…

At this point, party participants are sure they've seen everything. Nothing worse is left for them to witness. Well. Wrong. And they have to learn it from the hard way.

* * *


	3. Stage 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Know INXS' Need You Tonight? Yes? Perfect. No? Well, me recommends you to listen while reading.

_TIME : 03:44 / 01.01.20XX_  
LOCATION : Tokyo/Japan  
Residence of Kagami Taiga

_**Stage 5-Lothario** _

All the party participants have similar excuses the next day for the phenomena that happened at this hour of the night. It is late and they are all smashed to the point they can't even say their name correctly. So they can't be blamed for their actions. Right?

That's right. Even though the excuse is not completely correct, it is not a complete lie either. They _are_ wasted; they have little to none control over their bodies. But this is still an excuse to ease their consciences and conserve their sanity.

The hard truth is Kagami Taiga emits pheromones at the final stage. Which causes a minor Sexual Revolution in the small residence.

…

Finally freeing himself from the excessive emotional flood, Kagami sips his umpteenth drink quietly and lonely. He leans his back to the breakfast bar that separates the living room and kitchen while standing and enjoying the music at the volume that only people in the living room can hear. Though Kagami is actually in the condition of not registering what he is hearing. He loses himself in the sound but doesn't understand any of the lyrics.

When the Promiscuous from Nelly Furtado starts, Taiga finds himself pretty much dancing on his own. The redhead doesn't do "dancing" frequently. His big body and stiff movements are enough to humiliate him. Normally he is too embarrassed to dance in front of the others and it takes him all the way to the stage 5 to gain some confidence. But right now he can't bring himself to care and he doesn't recognize much of the others in his state.

Swaying with the rhythm, Kagami enjoys himself where he stands. He might not be getting the lyrics but the redhead can feel the suggestive tone the music has. When his brain finally catches the word promiscuous, Kagami feels himself blush a little and not due to alcohol. But soon he gets rid of his short-lived embarrassment and continues to be entertained by the song, even more so than before.

Some guests are slightly dancing too; some of them are rocking their heads with the rhythm and the rest is not caring what's playing at all. All of them are not minding what the redhead's doing. Kagami isn't attracting much attention yet. He can feel a strange, different kind of heat rising inside of him. It is not like the alcohol heat or the embarrassment warmth. It is _pure_ and _raw_ and _obscure_ and _exotic_ and _obscene._

Kagami is getting more and more into the song's intriguing flow. Sweat is starting form on his body; his breathing is getting quicker and the redhead wants it. He doesn't know what but he _needs_ it. Just when he is about to grasp what that might be, the song ends. A new song starts and Kagami feels the enchanting clouds dissolving, clearing his mind. But the new husky voice and enticing music make the clouds capture his mind and body once again. Air's Sexy Boy starts to play.

Kagami closes his eyes and lets himself to be captured by the song. It's not much of a dancing anymore, more like getting high on the song with the big help of alcohol. The heat he was feeling before returns at full force, bringing the _want_ and the _need_ with it. Also the heat brings down his head from the high places it was lurking to focus on his body again. The redhead becomes more and more aware of himself and the demands what his body seeks. The song ends too soon but the clouds don't disappear from his mind this time. With the new song, they even get more possessive of his conscious and the heat becomes unbearable with each seconds pass.

Goldfrapp's breathy voice chants him to do _something_ by Ooh La La and the hotness _really_ disturbs him right now. Maybe it is the flat all along being too heated up? Kagami is not sure anymore nor he cares. He just needs to cool off a bit somehow. He opens up his shirt's buttons slowly. With opening all of the buttons the cooling air hits his bare sweaty chest; he relaxes slightly. So he removes his shirt completely and cools off momentarily by hanging his upper middle being naked in the hot room.

The redhead soon realizes his glass is now empty but the booze is almost entirely used up. So he just grabs someone's drink when he passes by that person. He hears a faraway protest but doesn't give much of a care. He slowly starts to attract the messed minds' attention with his glorious half naked torso and his endless drinking. The first reaction of the noticing minds' is groaning at the redhead's inability to stop drinking. How in the hell this idiotic ace didn't throw up yet? His gluttonous trait must be preventing it. His bottomless pit really doesn't give up on anything that goes down there, even the poisons. The next reaction is to admire Kagami's blazing body with glued eyes and slightly opened mouths.

Kagami chugs down the drink he just stole. 'I didn't know we had whiskey,' is the first thought comes to his mind. But then again, he could be drinking whiskey all night and not remembering it. He can't even remember what he was drinking just seconds ago. Soon after, the redhead's mind turns into its fleeting state again. By the reinforcement of the whiskey, he surrenders to the song once more.

Tiger can feel himself getting trapped by the heat utterly. His heartbeat quickens evidently; he is about to snap. He has no idea what he will do when that happens but he prefers anything to the state he is in if it means a release from it.

Even though his shirt is off and his upper torso is naked, the redhead sweats more. Kagami runs one hand on his chest from up to bottom and the other one caresses his neck to get rid of some of the sweat while still dancing. He doesn't realize the mouthwatering show he is displaying. Unconsciously attracting more eyes on himself, Kagami continues his sensual dance while running his hands on his body, eyes are closed. His movements become slightly faster in direct proportion to the chorus and the music. The redhead has listened to these songs maybe a million times before but never felt like this. He is pleased by the new feeling old songs give.

The redhead gets excited with the song now starting to play because he knows it by heart to the point where he can sing the lyrics without thinking. Need You Tonight from INXS plays and Kagami puts on a more hearted show while singing. He is impressively good at impersonating Hutchence's voice.  
Kagami's eyes are open and he stares back into the eyes that are on him while singing the suggestive song. His sensual dance is slower and the instinct of removing the other articles of clothing is stronger. But before surrendering to that urge, he moves towards to the eyes he was staring back for a while. The redhead is only aware of that couple of eyes but can't recognize the person they belong to. The midnight blue sparks something in him though.

Finally recognizing Aomine, Kagami doesn't find it repulsive at all. In fact he likes it more than he thinks he would. Standing right in front of the indigo miracle, the redhead leans his face to the seemingly stoned one; the redhead's lips almost a breath away from the tanned boy's mouth.

"How do you feel? _I'm lonely~!_ " Kagami brings his mouth even closer to the other's lips with the last line. The redhead continues his exotic dance with his body almost touching to the tanned one, and he's singing with his face coming closer and withdrawing slightly by the high and low tones he uses. But the redhead never actually touches to the other teenager.

Aomine is completely frozen. He is having a hard time registering the erotic creator in front of him, giving him a special show. Aomine can feel the lust and want and need building up right in his guts. The tanned boy is thawing gingerly. His southern region is coming alive. With the heat produced by the sexy dance so near to his body, Aomine finally reacts. He reaches for the tiger, not sure what he will do when he gets a hold of him and he never gets to find out.

Kagami expertly slips away from the arm that reaches out for him and moves to other set of eyes. These eyes are so narrowed behind the spectacles that even when widened they are smaller than average. Just like now. Focusing on the face slightly below him, Kagami leans his body to Imayoshi's. The redhead's face lining with bespectacled boy's, lips almost closing up on the right ear, Kagami sings breathily, "Your moves are so _raw._ I've got to let you know. _I've got to let you know~_ ". Suddenly having the strong urge to mess with that black hair, tiger runs his fingers from bottom to up at the back of Imayoshi's skull then tagging the hair while singing the lyrics to Touou captain's ear. He pants deeply then breaks off completely from the male.

Immediately captivated by the charming heterochromatic eyes, Kagami orients towards Akashi like before. Fascinated again by the beautiful differently colored eyes, the redhead stops singing and stares into those eyes for a while. Akashi doesn't do or say anything, just stares back. Then Kagami gives his shiny lopsided smile to the other redhead. He bends over Akashi's face, never breaking the eye contact, Kagami huskily sings with a whispering voice " _I need you tonight~_ ". Tiger runs his hand down lightly on Akashi's chest while suggestively swaying his own body and never breaking the eye contact. " _Cause I'm not sleepin'_   There is something about you girl. That makes me _sweat_." Stressing the last word while quickly getting his lips even more closer to Akashi's, and touching them in a short chaste kiss; Kagami pulls back as fast as he got neared.

Akashi's eyes are darkened and he orders the redheaded tiger to come back but Kagami doesn't obey. Akashi doesn't have the desire to kill the redhead for disobeying him, especially when the tiger apparently decides it's time to surrender to his urge. Kagami slowly runs his hands along his muscled chest; long fingers linger on his abdomen then teasingly play with his belt.

"What do you think? _Can't think at all~_ " Kagami opens his belt and quickly removes it from the waist of his pants.

"Whatcha gonna do?" The pants' button pops up.

" _Gonna live my life~_ " The zipper goes down and the pair of pants slowly slides down with the lyrics.

Kagami doesn't focus on anyone in particular. He makes short and fast eye contacts with the eyes that are glued on him. There is hunger in those eyes. They are eager to see more of the show. More of Kagami.

Well, most of the eyes have the eagerness but some of them just have the pure shock and embarrassment. Himuro doesn't want to see his innocent brother's dirty dancing. Midorima is astounded and can't feel the swiftly spreading blush on his face. Kasamatsu, who is dragged by Kise to the party, is disgusted with himself for being pleased over a kid's acts; luckily his true admiration for Kise holds him back revealing anything embarrassing. Seirin players are mostly petrified, never expecting the untainted, tiger-looking-kitten to know exotic moves and manage to be cute at the same time. Wait. Did they just think a 6 foot tall, hard muscled guy as cute and exotic?

On the other hand, Kuroko seems to be enjoying the show even though his face is as impassive as any other day. Alright, he admits he can't be so impassive due to alcohol but the demonstration either is quite tasty. Watching Kagami taking out the black jeans like a hawk, Kuroko wants to possess the pants. He moves towards Kagami for that purpose but at the same time he realizes he is not alone on this desire. Kise is moving for it too. Feeling angry and competitive, Kuroko uses his not-so-perfect-at-the-moment misdirection to get the article. Kise soon notices what Kuroko's intention is and acts faster.

Now freed from the restrictive jeans, Kagami stands only in his tight green camo boxer; the redhead exhibits his magnificent body gloriously. Everyone stops their functions to appreciate the view, including Kise and Kuroko for a while. Then, Kise vs Kuroko for the pants resumes. They grab each leg of the article and glare at each other, daring to blink and give up.

Aomine thinks they are being idiots for fighting over granite while the real gold stands right in front of them. So ganguro attempts to capture the real treasure but apparently he is not the only one who wants to catch it. Akashi death glares him, ordering him to back up with his eyes. Aomine, totally under the control of wild feline's pheromones, doesn't back up at all and dares to Akashi. An obviously-would-be bloody war is about to take place but the warriors are caught off guard by a purple, finally-awake giant.

Murasakibara comes from behind Kagami and stands beside him. Violet miracle wraps his long arm around the redhead's waist. With his other hand, Murasakibara raises Kagami's face, holding under the redhead's chin, and locks their lips in a full blown kiss. Every person in the room is awed by the teenage baby's bold behavior. After getting over the astonishment, hell breaks over.

"Atsushi, get away from Taiga. _Now_." Akashi is freezingly angry.

"Murasakibaracchi, that's cheating!" Kise can't decide between rushing over to split them apart and not letting go of the pants.

"I didn't see anything. I didn't see two male giants making out. I didn't see it. I didn't." Seirin is chanting.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry for watching your intimacy! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Sakurai does what he always does.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you are doing Murasakibara?! Let the fuck go of Kagami!" Aomine runs for the tiger to rescue him from the evil Goliath.

"Murasakibara-kun shouldn't have kissed Kagami-kun without permission." Kuroko is frighteningly reminding Akashi with his presence right now.

Shuutoku can't do much but stare in open mouthed shock along with their miracle. Midorima's over arrogance saves him from losing his mind like other miracles. Kasamatsu and Wakamatsu are pretty much in the same state as Seirin. Susa has been knocked out by alcohol for a long time now, lucky bastard.

Situation gets crazier when Kise and Kuroko decide to fuck the pants and save the tiger. Murasakibara is clinging to the redhead like an octopus; similar to a kid who doesn't want to give his favorite toy. Himuro is now possessed by jealousy over his adorable brother; he wants to slaughter his childish teammate, and Imayoshi decides to join in the fun. Kuroko, Aomine, Akashi and Kise are agreeing with Himuro without knowing it.

Brave Warriors vs. Evil Goliath to rescue the Tigress. Things are not looking well for Murasakibara. He is unusually strong and tall but even he will have problems to win against crazed, hormone-driven six teenagers. 6 pairs of arms are trying to sever the giant from their princess but purple miracle is no joke too; he doesn't budge easily. The rescue mission leaves itself to a war; the act is becoming more and more chaotic. Kagami, being in the center of it all, unintentionally is getting trashed by his saviors. They don't realize it though and continue with their violent act.

The supposed heroes finally manage to free the Tigress from the Goliath but before they can be triumphant about it, they notice what they also caused to the victim. They can't bring themselves to be guilty about it too, though. Kagami looks like he is seriously messed up by someone but not enough to have bruises on his sun kissed skin, leading him to have a more sexual appearance. Entranced by the improved looks of the sexy beast, saviors and giant turn into predators in a matter of seconds. They all move at the same time to touch/hold/capture the redhead but it only ends up as they all crash into each other and cause an impact.

"Kagamin, watch out!" Momoi saves the boy from getting crushed by the impact by pulling the redhead to the side.

Kagami looks down to his real savior; he smiles his charming, sunny, big smile. " _Thank_ _you_ , _Momoi_ ," The redhead gives a lingering reward kiss to his heroine's cheek. The  pinkette is blushing furiously being the victim of direct attention of the sexy teenager. Her love for Tetsu-kun is severed a little thanks to the alcohol and female hormones being activated by the earlier display.

"Satsuki! Not you too!" Aomine is crestfallen and defeated by his childhood friend.

Kagami notices the song has ended. He feels down. And thirsty. He needs a drink now so he looks for one. The nearest drink is in a shot glass which in hold of an abnormally huge hand and it's about to complete its journey towards a mouth. Quickly reacting, the redhead leads the hand that holding the glass to his mouth and gulps down the last tequila shot of the night. Momentarily out of the influence of feline pheromones, participants are afraid of what will happen when Kagami becomes like _that_ again. They pay a visit to their consciences, and they are terrorized by what they find.

'Oh no. Did I just cheat on Junpei? We are not together _yet_ but…' Kiyoshi thinks horrifyingly that he is dishonest.

'This is how a man loses his innocence, Hyuuga.' Hyuuga cries silent manly tears while consoling himself.

'I don't wanna make puns about this.' Izuki realizes the grim truth.

"Is it possible that I lost my virginity by watching this?! Huh Mitobe?" Koganei terrifies out loud. Then he gasps and begins to ask. "Is this what—"

"—a group sex is?!" finishes the freshmen trio for their senior with identical appalled expressions.

'What is this feeling?!' Riko is scared of her body silently; apparently her body has an enigmatic reaction over the thought of hot basketball players being naughty and dirty together.

'Not only Taiga but Daiki and Atsushi as well opposed me. Yet, I didn't even send so much of a glare to kill them.' Akashi first time in his life feels disappointment in himself.

'I wanted a man? A _guy_!? And it's Bakagami of all people! Like, he isn't even B cup!' Aomine questions his magnificent himself, feeling terrified due to it.

'I was more than ready to crush Kurokocchi!' Kise realizes the most horrible truth.

'I… I desired my little brother. Harakiri is the only salvation.' Himuro resolves.

'I cared Kagamin more than Tetsu-kun when that crash happened…!' Momoi closes her palm over her mouth; she is ready to cry a fountain.

Murasakibara seems unfazed of all this commotion but suddenly his eyes widen and his expression turns into one seeing an ogre in real life. '…I've run out of snacks.'

'I… wanted the Light to only shine for me; making him another shadow.' The Shadow's most terrifying fear is to dim his Light.

'I need Aomine's porn. RIGHT FUCKING NOW!' Wakamatsu hates himself for even thinking about needing something that belongs to that bastard.

'I want to do what he did to me _to him_ when he is sober.' Imayoshi smirks, just being the sadistic himself. Okay, there is one person who is not actually traumatized by all of this.

'I AM NOT REALLY SORRY.' Sakurai's most evil truth.

'I knew all the Miracles were arrogant weirdos but… I just never want to see a bunch of guys running over each other for another man.' Kasamatsu knows he is scarred and he plans to take it out on Kise since practically it's all his fault.

Shuutoku last years can't believe how the other teams' players crazy and liberated could be about their sexualities. They feel lucky that their usually abnormal miracle and his partner are acting more normal.

"Shin-chan would have been sexier." Takao comments out loud without thinking, utterly and definitely destroying his seniors' minds along with Midorima's glasses.

Midorima feels flattered by Takao's words and he also wants to see more of the exotic body of Kagami. Realization of these crushes green miracle to the ground before even thinking about denying it.

To Midorima's happiness (or not) and others' dismay, Kagami finds his heat with the new song. Get Lucky from Daft Punk starts to play. Seriously though, what the hell is wrong with this series of let's-get-in-the-mood songs? Well, it is probably due to the time and the date being the New Year and all. Radio stations are figuring people that are still up for some music are mostly looking for getting into it more easily.

To participants' fortune though, the Lothario doesn't last long. Wanting to dance some more, Kagami hops up to the breakfast bar but the sudden powerful movement doesn't do anything good to his poisoned system. He finally throws up to his living room, right below the bar. The redhead gets rid of most of the alcohol thanks to it and leaves all of his stages at once. Feeling tired after all the action he has done through the night, Kagami falls asleep flat on his stomach and on the said bar, almost naked save for a boxer briefs.

Relieved with the current situation of the redhead, guests reflect on their actions differently but they feel and conclude the same things.

They are traumatized. And they know Kagami Taiga is a scary and dangerous opponent but not only in basketball. Also, he is not allowed to drink ever again.


End file.
